


track one; just for a moment

by zombiepops



Category: VIXX
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:08:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25082137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombiepops/pseuds/zombiepops
Summary: But it was the envelope with an all too familiar scrawl that got to him. He glances at it and, the moment it registers, tosses it into his passenger's seat.Jaehwan heads home, watching the sun sink behind the horizon. It sends bright rays of pinks and oranges in the sky. This view was his, and his alone. But, for the first time in a long time, he wishes it wasn’t.
Relationships: Lee Hongbin/Lee Jaehwan | Ken
Kudos: 1
Collections: Insa Fic Collab





	track one; just for a moment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dominho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dominho/gifts).



It was isolating. 

This wasn't the only route; this just happened to be the more roundabout route with less passersby, and he preferred that. He could enjoy the rises and falls of the mountain peaks alone. The view was only his: the shadows cast down by the occasional cloud, the melting snowpack—all of it.

It was isolating, Jaehwan knew that much. He knows that this isn’t the only route to his home; this one happened to be less direct with less people lurking about, and Jaehwan preferred it to the highway. The view was great: the shadows cast down from the occasional cloud passing by--all of it was such a lovely view. And the view was his. 

The apartments were close to the park. Tourists refuel, shopped, and lodge here. All the rangers live in this apartment--which meant it was him and another ranger named Wonshik in the apartment amongst all the other residents--and they stock up on their essentials.

For Jaehwan, it was food. The nearest supermarket was an hour from his house. The only time he had proper time off was on Saturdays and the supermarket was always hectic on Saturdays. He takes the time after his shift on Mondays to do all the shopping. Show up, grab from the list, pack it in the car and move on.

Jaehwan nods at a man who pulls into the lot. He didn't exactly get along with everyone. Especially some of the rangers from the north, but he wasn't going to be rude.

Jaehwan doesn't linger when he finishes up. This was a trip he made once a week at most, once a month at least. The supermarket was another necessity other than the mail box. 

The lobby is scheduled to close to in five minutes, but it was more than enough time to grab the mail that threatened to spill out from the locker and retreat back to his truck. He sighs, letting go of the deep breathe he held. A lot of it was junk mail: flyers for sales and coupons he'd never use. Bill and a few other important looking envelopes.

But it was the envelope with an all too familiar scrawl that got to him. He glances at it and, the moment it registers, tosses it into his passenger's seat. 

Jaehwan heads home, watching the sun sink behind the horizon. It sends bright rays of pinks and oranges in the sky. This view was his, and his alone. But, for the first time in a long time, he wishes it wasn’t. 

+

It was his favorite spot: the bench that let him stare out at the lake; it’s a peaceful type of serenity that Jaehwan relishes in. The sun was warm, but the trees gave adequate shade and relief from the sun. The only thing better than the view of the lake was the hand on his shoulder, clasping tightly on Jaehwan’s shoulder. Jaehwan glances over, heart beating wildly in his chest as his eyes meet his companion’s. 

Today was the day. Today was the day Jaehwan was going to tell Hongbin exactly how he felt about him. 

“Hey Jae,” Hongbin asks, “You got a minute?” 

Jaehwan nods. “I’m just finishing up my lunch, I’ll head down in a second--” 

“It’s no rush,” Hongbin replies, “I just want to talk to you about something quick.”

The feeling of hopeful anticipation fills his mind. “I want to talk to you about something too. You can go first, though.” 

“Well.” Jaehwan can hear the hesitation in Hongbin’s voice. It was uncharacteristic for Hongbin, who always knew what to say. This was something far different than the conversations they normally have. “I’ve been reassigned. ”

The hope that blossoms in Jaehwan's chest flat lines, taking all of the joy and the happiness right out of him. There was no way Jaehwan was going to confess, not after knowing Hongbin was going to leave. 

"Reassigned?" Jaehwan asks. "I-I thought you were trying to stay here?"

Hongbin smiles an apologetic smile at him that makes it difficult to be angry at him. "I'm trying," he says, "But I guess I've gotta run the laps before I can win the race, right?" Hongbin looks at Jaehwan. "I'm here until winter though, but I still wanted to tell you. I know I would forget to if I didn't."

Being angry at Hongbin was difficult, but surely not impossible. Jaehwan clenches his jaw and stares down at the lake. 

“Jae?” 

“I get it.” Jaehwan looks down at his hands. “You’ve gotta do what you gotta do and I’m in no way, shape or form going to tell you how to get to where you need to be.”

Hongbin squeezes his shoulder. “So, what did you want to tell me?” 

Jaehwan shakes his head. He pulls away and stands. “Nothing. It was nothing.” Jaehwan turns to pick up his lunch basket, turning on his heel. “I’m going to head to the campground. Don’t wanna be late, right?” 

“Right.” 

The conversation echoes in his mind as he gets to his front door step.

Jaehwan slams the door of his truck, mail tucked in between his arms. It was already evening, and now that Jaehwan had done his food shopping he come to the realization that he should get inside and deal with everything later. 

But he can't. 

He looks at the grocery bag in the trunk and the mail tucked in between his arm and decides to take care of it right now. 

He stomps his boots out on the welcome mat, dragging everything in carefully. Once he puts everything away, Jaehwan grabs the bottle of Jack Daniel's laying on his bartop. He pours a cup and puts the mail down on his table.

He stares at the letters and wonders if they would shred nicely, or burn quickly. But as tempting as it was, Jaehwan couldn’t find himself doing it. 

No matter how risky it was for him to check the mail, wondering whether or not a letter or two or even  _ three _ would be in his mailbox, Jaehean never found himself able to get rid of them. Call him afraid if you want, but it hurt him to think about the contents. He knows that there are already too many unknown variables, and Jaehwan didn’t know what he dreads more: what Hongbin would say or what he wouldn’t say. 

Jaehwan waits for the day that Hongbin says he's found someone for him--that would really be when Jaehwan would break.

Jaehwan firmly grips the glass in his hand, drinking more. He sets the envelope on the table and grabs the shoebox on one of the dusty bookshelves. In that box were countless letters from Hongbin, ones that he refuses to open.

He takes a sip of his whiskey. The whiskey slid down his throat and, despite the bitter resentment deep in his heart, he slides his finger under the flap of the envelope with the utmost care. It's now or never and Jaehwan would rather get it over with while he was too drunk to remember it in the morning. 

Jaehwan traces his finger over Hongbin’s name on the postcard. California, this time. 

California, that was a long ways away from Florida. 


End file.
